one better

Ed Hardy clothes are fugly.

I think this is something we can all agree on.

Ed Hardy clothes are some of the god-awfulest, eye melting, design challenged pieces of clothing ever made in the history off clothing manufacturing.  The previous statement needs no justification – just look.  The only other company that comes close is Affliction & to me they make the list more because of the mega-douches that wear that shit.  But this isn’t about Affliction – in fact that could be a whole different post…

Here’s what really grinds my gears about Ed Hardy:

The GODAWFUL, SEIZURE-INDUCING color schemes.  It looks like a baby who ate a box of crayons – got diarrhea – and this was the resulting color mix.

For the ladies:

MY EYES - THEY BURN!!!!!!!1!!!!1!!!1!!

For the Bros:

I would bunch this bro in the face.

What? The. Fuck?  Who are the people that see this in the store, purchase it, & consider it a good idea to wear that in public?  People who need lazer eye surgery – though I suppose that wouldn’t cure the STUPID that’s obviously residing deep in their brains.  Why the stupid?  Well I’m going to go out on a limb here – but I’m guessing the majority of the wearers of these garments are not tattoo enthusiast themselves.  They just see colorful pictures & get distracted.  Also – you know the skull – as a punk/metal/tattoo symbol is dead when it starts appearing in contexts such as these.

Now I know you don’t need to be a tattoo enthusiast to wear something like this.  At the same time – it doesn’t make much sense though – given what the artwork represents.  But it’s not – a matter of keeping it real.  No.  Nobody can keep it real anymore*.  Maybe – instead – it’s the greatest example of post-modernist clothing ever created.  Maybe – this represents the pinnacle of art & design were the art itself lacks a social definition.  It’s moved past the point of being about tattoos & ‘urban wear’ – to the point of melding the two styles together to create the ultimate in tackiness.  Maybe – that’s the whole point – and I’m just not getting it…

I doubt it though…

Ed Hardy is like a glorified version of those shirts that make it look like you have tattoo sleeves – but in reality – you do not.  A quick search the EVIL Google returns a company who’s sole purpose in life is to create that crap.  I’m sure you’re wondering – does it look real?

Awesome ink, bro!

The answer is no.  No it doesn’t.  Because of the wrinkles in the fabric.  And because it’s made out of fabric – not ink under your skin.  Yet I digress…  So – where was I? Yes…  Ed Hardy clothing is very much like this…

Clothing like this represents all that is wrong with the commodification of a subculture.  So in closing – to anyone who thinks wearing this stuff is a good idea – go F yourself – you look like an idiot.

*No citation needed.  Just look around you – 4/5 people don’t keep it real.  If you think you are – then most likely NONE of your friends are.